Recursion is time travel. Let no one else convince you otherwise in anyway.
The Glass was always half empty.
“The Glass was always half empty.”
And the philosopher said, I always see the glass half full. I always see hope!
It’s funny how the stomach doesn’t share the enthusiasm being half full!
Either it’s thirsty or it isn’t.
Hard labor is borne off an empty stomach, Philosophy from a bellyful.
Nobody fills a glass half full unless they know they can fill more anytime they want,
No! A half full is never the brevity, its always the luxury.
You’ve gotta wonder sometimes if philosophy was born to put cushions of hope,
To soften the hard hitting blows of reality.
You’ve gotta wonder if you’d be better off without the cushions, hurting half full, half empty?
Or you’d rather eat the reality,
Springing you into action,
Taking you actually out of misery.
Gee, I wonder, if I’d have half full reality or half empty?
Oh sorry, I forgot, reality doesn’t work that way.
Learning to die for a lifetime
Tis but a time to be alive!
Dead the moment I’m born, by the way.
Just a long winding down road to black.
Each breath I take the next stepping stone in preparing to die
The fire of burning organs pumping, making me feel alive!
holding on to my precious heart like a dead man’s switch,
would it really be that bad after I die?
Stayed dead longer than I’ve stayed alive, yet I fear the reaper and not the god – sure, sure.
You know what would be fun?
Let’s read hundred books to be sage when my knees hit the ground
Would it be more fun to stack a bunch of bricks on the dirt Or stack a bunch of prints in the bank account?
No, wait, gotta have a great credit score
Forgot to have myself a nice 401K – can never be too sure.
I just can’t wait to never use them once I become ether…………………………..
Sorry, this god is not available in your country
He, who asks shall receive in,
Only if the IP address matches the country you believe in.
You can find hope lying around on the crossroad,
Buried in the earth,
howling your name
Scratching on your toes
as the doomsday get closer.
The Lord’s grace unto you comes with an eternal trade.
The years of your life is decided on where the Demon kissed you.
OH I am sorry, did I say, Demon? I MEANT GOD! Is there a difference?
Heaven and hell living inside my mind.
It’s funny when an invisible messiah talks about hell & heaven firsthand.
Well, its more real than god I’d give you that!
My hell is different than you, my hell is realer than you
A rotten Bread in the stomach is no different than the grenade shrapnel
Just another version of the damnation, I suppose
Or Maybe my haircut doesn’t match my clothes and goat-leather boots?
Would it be better if my clothes would carry the blood of my family?
Would it be better if the constant ringing in my ears would eat all other sound?
What happened? its not enough first world for you?
I like the smell of petrol and fireworks, I wonder though if I would like them better if they were inside my belly?
And the blood boils blue
There is no time when the blood boils blue,
Eyes turning red and the nostrils fume.
Hands turning green, veins popping out,
This world is my device…………….. TO BREAK!
doesn’t matter what started it,
its a treason to find the reason,
Oh the ecstacy to throw the logic away, talk loud, leave the hope astray
Its not anger, no don’t call it that!
The world is more fun with the red goggles I bet,
This world is my speedbag……………………. TO HIT!
Why to get the hopes up when you can up your breaths,
Why you sing praise of calm that broke your mind!
Serenity is stupidity, all it brings is the flood of emotions,
Anger is pure, anger is simple, anger is singleton!
And the BLOOD BOILS BLUEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE
“Free to make my own walls”
(I am) “Free to make my own walls”.
I don’t put the first few bricks myself, but I sure don’t stop when I realize.
Maybe it all starts as a dream – with no self control, with promises of bright future – the ideal luxury.
It’s(the mind is) so small – even in their thoughts, my makers can’t think higher than this.
The smallest of angles create the largest of arcs given enough distance.
Preach to start small, start early, ohhh the irony! More time to mislead the path for me, plant some more thorns.
Read all the wrong books – make sure there’s no time to recover.
don’t play in the mud – your hands get dirty
Dirt in the hand is easier to wash than dirt in the mind, but they don’t have no problem when I play in the mud of these useless books.
And I can’t wash it, can’t clean it.
Soon the spiders will be here – and I feel the webs in my dreams – walking the corridors with my squeaky clean hands and feet.
What’s Trending you ask, Idiocy I say.
Heylloo and whats up! 2012 passed and 2013 is here already.
Basically here’s where I gotta write the intro part of the article. But heck, lets lose out into the matter at hand. Coz seriously I can’t think of something funny to say here every time you guys. Give the fellow man a break. Aaaaaaaand Off we go:
The Slap of truth: Dayaa ka chaanta
Long gone are the days of concentration camps of Hitler, when chemists worked really hard to discover and synthesize chemical substances which could make you speak truth. India’s premier crime investigation unit CID uses a different model. Na na na, we are not talking about some other chemical shit, or electric chair. It’s something far more dangerous: The Slap of Truth! Dayaa, whose length is equal to breadth, is the man of the hour. No matter how hideous crime, how rough the criminal is, he’s bound to speak truth when he gets slapped by our fella. It’s a divine thing, actually. There is one more advantage actually, as soon as the criminal gets slapped; the criminal gets delivered to CID headquarters, unless they are not already there.
Sometimes I am bound to think that stories for CID are written backwards. They decide who’s going to commit crime, what crime, who will get killed and then they come to why.
It’s about time Dayaa starts a stall outside malls and parliament. 1 slap for 200 bucks, 2 for 150.
100 Crore ka Sach!
Okay. Forbes say increasing prices of movie tickets are responsible for movies grossing in excess of 100 crores today. growing no of multiplexes, digital reprints, wide releases. They all might constitute to this outrageously exceeding collections. But in my opinion the main reason is the same which is the reason for india’s upwards of 100 crore population: “Illiteracy”. ahem? ahem? Did I lie.
I mean who the fuck are these people who go to watch heroes cranking people’s skull and everytime they slap villains in the head, there is a sound of two metal balls colliding. Thhhhannnnnnnnnnn! What’s up with that???
On few occassion we were trapped in the movie halls of these films, I have seen my friends amidst song humming the lyrics even before they’ve sung it in song. I mean how predictable you wanna be. I bet you there would be an android app on the market right now for creating movies. It will take input : Hero, Heroine & villain name, Name of production to decide the release date and a plot from another 100 crore grossing movie. After all the story writer is a chimpanzee from the near jungle on a booze and doped heavy. Or may be some birds chirped on keyboard and the story writer called it a day.
Salman khan seems to be on a truth and dare contest where someone has given him a task: Either marry or do movies without storywriters. Well the latter is easy so here we are.
MTV roadies: Everything which is wrong with Today’s youth.
So I heard somewhere that MTV roadies is kicking off its 10th Seasons. Oh no. I mean the city’s gutters are already choking down enough shit and we are starting roadies 10. They are advertising on TV that Roadies is the first reality show to reach 10th season. Well, someone needs to know when to stop. Guys. I’ll tell you. You know what roadies is? Apart from being a pathetic ground to show off swearing is a KEWL thing, it represents everything which is wrong with today’s youth.
Oay, tell me what kind of real world situation you are gonna find yourself into where you’ll have to Poll dance.
It’s a show of duality. You’ll be taught to be respectful to girls yet you’ll have to hurl limitless abuses towards each other. Honestly will be rewarded only if its backed by dirty politics about who will vote out whom. The only thing which is constant about it is it’s Straightfold Dumb!
Govt should make a separate facility for the people who look forward to new seasons of this show and will want to attend the interview.
Ain’t this article got a beginning. And it sure as hell isn’t gonna have an end. So see you lovely fellas soon!
\/
Piece out!
Selling Happiness since 1920
Several Post apocalyptic movies have depicted in great detail what could happen in a world where humans might be tormented by machines. Terminator, The Matrix, and there are couple more not worth mentioning. In these movies humans are shown to be proud of being capable of having emotions. To have hope. to experience Pain, love and happiness. To be able to cry. Well I gotta tell ya folks, it looks overrated to me. Its as if Bill Gates is being mocked by a beggar that he can’t sleep on streets or can’t Savour being hungry for days and being winced by cold winter. Nevertheless, there is one thing I am sure humans would be proud of in such a world, where robots and machines will prevail. That is, use of Emoticons in chat and emotions in Advertisements [Pun intended].
Point in case: Utterly and butterly delicious “Happiness” being used in advertisements now-a-days. I guess nobody is selling products, since they are so busy selling happiness cloacked with consumerism. You go to grocery store to buy cholesterol free oil, guess what, happiness comes along free with it. Wanna buy a coke to quench your thirst? Don’t open the friggin’ coke, you gotta open the happiness first. Are you buying a dairymilk chocolate for your girlfriend, well no sir, first you have to make sure its the right occassion to say “Kuchh Meetha ho jaaye”. Are you Fuckin’ kidding me?
None of this is as big a crap as Big B selling you boroplus in the name of “Sardi ki Nazar na lage”. IT’S A FRIGGING COLD CREAM TO PREVENT YOUR SKIN FROM BEING DRY. GET IT?
Have you seen the Tata Nano ad? It’s as if they want us to make fun of them. Khushiyon ki chaabi, my foot. I am gonna kill you with that same key if you give me a Khushiyon ki chaabi for 1 Lac Rupees instead of the actual car keys. Happiness I can manage. I want a car key from you, dumbass.
I absolutely get it that our Indian society is emotionally driven. Everybody here is either laughing or crying. Every sentence here ends with an emoticon, rofl and lol (more about that later) Every facebook photo is a portrait of how happy the chap is to be somewhere. Every status about being home is demanding a declaration of how happy the poor guy is to be at home.
I mean what’s up with all this declaration stuff. Who do you want to prove that you are enjoying? How ridiculous does it even sound to go visit some place and instead of living the moment there, you are busy capturing the whole thing on camera so that you could *INSTANTLY* share it to show people you are ENJOYING. This particular feeling of happiness is what drives the companies to create whole Ad campaigns targetting Human Emotions.
And in the end, he said to me “How hard it is to be happy, yeah?”
Peace out!
Oo Oo Womaniya!!
Did you know that 80% of the advertisements today are produced keeping woman’s appeal in mind. (Actually I just made that up, 😛 but you get the drift). I was watching a south Indian movie this sunday and there came the famous “Sirf 2 minutes ka break!”. For some reason, I didnt change the channel (I didn’t have a choice to go to, its weekend, what do you expect.) so I sat through the Ads. And Boy, I realized that nowadays advertisements are made for chimpanzees, not for humans. So dumb! Even a monkey knows he’s not gonna get a monkey chick just because he used a specific brand of underwear. Grow up, losers! The only way you’re gonna get somebody to like you is good old ways: Talk, communicate, improvise. Spoiler: you don’t need to wear deodorants!! I know, right?
So I thought, instead of continue watching that dumb movie, why not educate our country’s teenagers a little bit, who I think eat grass in dinner. So wannabes, off we go!
** Deodorant **
Ah, my favourites! So people, first and foremost. When it’s hot outside, you sweat. And you fatasses sweat so bad, that it stinks. People can’t stand within 10 feet from you. So, a company starts making deodorants. Which does what? NO! It doesn’t get you chicks. 😀 It frees you from your stench. I can promise you the only plus you are getting off a bottle of deodorant is that you won’t choke and die on your own smell. 😀 Got it? Now repeat after me: “Deodorants don’t get you chicks.”. Good. Good.
Girls: Not that it matters, but whatever you do, you will get guys I promise. So, just one advice: Do whatever you want.
** Toothpaste **
“Paas Aao, Meri saanso me samaao.”
I remember watching a lady in a retro 70’s ad while a person hummed this song “Kya aap close up karte hain”. Such a catchy tune. Until a couple months ago, I was aware of the fact that toothpastes are for brushing your teeth. The only other use I knew of this product was to eat it in childhood, because they tasted so awesome!! 😀
But guess what, according to the recent studies (read Ads) it turns out, if you are brushing your teeth with Close-up, you are gonna get kissed from a lady, who herself would brush her teeth with same paste! Otherwise, ofcourse its not possible. I mean, what is the point of kissing when one’s brushed teeth and other has just used Mintos!
** Clothes & Undergarments (Don hai to On hai) **
Ok this is self-explanatory.
** Mobile Phones **
Okay, this one is straightfold dumb. There was an ad on TV a few days ago where a phone boasts of ultra fast Wi-Fi and promises to make your life ultrafast. So, this idiot girl sits close to her and laughs on a comedy video streaming “Only because the phone has ultrafast WiFi you know”. The guy notices the girl having a good time and comfortably puts his arms around her. Now, 1st point is it’s difficult to point out the guy in this ad.
If you’ve had any experience even closer to this, do tell me in comments, but the “Ultra-Gay” event depicted in the Ad is never supposed to happen (Although I wish a hug was that cheap 😉 ).
It’s kind of disappointing to see the quality of Ads. I remember and miss the days of Ads like “Wonderful Doodh”, “Nerolac”, “Dairy Milk”.
Once in a while we see good ads today. But the pace with which the concentration is shifting towards attracting girls/women in Advertisements is awful. India is a country which rides on waves. Amitabh Sneezes one morning and the whole India goes out of their minds. Be it cricket, be it Anna Hazare/Lokpal bills, Orkut/facebook: We always overdo things. This new wave riding teenagers’ mind: Having a girlfriend/boyfriend, I gotta tell ya fellas, its completely overrated. 😀
Oh, you wanna smash me in comments, go on talk about forever alone. I won’t blame you lot. But think over the point. Sometimes its good to give a little exercise to young chap. Let’s wear our thinking hats shall we.
\/
Peace out!
Edit: One of my friends took offence on calling that South Indian movie “Dumb”. Whilst I appreciate his scrupulous eye, on the other hand I want to clarify, I can call any movie “Dumb” I want. It’s not regionally adherent, but believe me or not, most of the movies made today ARE DUMB. So, southies don’t need to take any offence here, alright? Peace out!
Facebook Personalities
So the Facebook IPO went on fire this last month, and facebook couldn’t agree more to the fact that it was all because of the millions of newbies who “Log in, Sign up or Learn more” every god damn month on Facebook. This, chitter-chatter, this vulgar display of incessant, unnecessary and imaginary tidbits of their knowledges and horrible insights about the lives: This is all too much and I snapped last night. So here I am writing another of my frustrations in a more to come of series :). Today we are gonna see different Facebook personalities we encounter while online.
I know this might have been written many times, but I know you geeky heads always want more of this meandering I go about doing about other geekyheads :P. So here’s your today’s dose of gossip:
**** The Oversharers ****
“Good morning Friends!”
“Having lunch at home and loving it”
“Wow what a dump I took, feels so relaxed now.”
If you are familiar with any of the above sentence, you have a facebook friend who qualifies for this personality type. These guys share/update so involuntarily, that if you were to gain a cent every time they share, you’ll be a millionaire in a day. 😀 A particular class of this category goes ahead one step and pings you on chat to like their newly put status. It’s like scoring a goal on empty goalpost and make others celebrate about that :P.
**** The Liker and Disliker. ****
Each one of us has atleast one friends who goes about liking people’s stuff. No matter what you set your status to, they will like it. If you share a new video of 4 minutes, 2 people will like it within 1 minute. It’s as if an unknown force drives them to do this and they have no control whatsoever on this. 😉
This one, being my Favourite, I can’t stress enough:
**** “The Photographer” ****
Honestly, the way camera prices have decreased, I don’t really appreciate it. Although there is no harm if people are learning something and they post their photos to facebook to know what others think about. But Photographers, Listen to me:
Clicking a Black and White photo doesn’t mean it will always be nice. It doesn’t mean that the photo is very deep and “tells me something” either. So if people are liking it for no reason, believe me, you’ve got a lot of likers in your friendslist. 😛 (see pt 2).
PS : Installing an App called Instagrams doesn’t make you a photohgrapher either.
**** The Taggers ****
These are facebook’s “Tag! You’re it” guys. If you wake up a fine morning and login to facebook to see 11 notifications, don’t get all too crazy, it’s just some stupid friend of your’s who has uploaded a “Good morning” wallpaper and tagged 122 people in it. Some 67 Liker guys have liked it and 45 “incessant Ranters” have thanked that douche for tagging them along. 😛
You’ve got to be on a lookout for these bunch. They are most active around Festivals, Days of National influence, friendship day, Valentine’s day and what not!
Edit:
Part-2 is in pipeline. 🙂
When It's All Done! 